Uppity women getting back in their place?

Beth Quinn has weighed in on the state of men in America, and the news is pretty damn good if you're a certain kind of man (via TGW):

After decades of oppression, men are making a comeback. Spurred on by President Bush and his new Supreme Court, they're reclaiming their God-given right to control women.

[...] [I]t became clear Roe v. Wade had to go if women were to be put back in their place. After all, if you can rape a woman and she has to stay pregnant, well, by golly, you've got the goods, don'tcha see?

And that's about to happen! South Dakota has banned all abortions except when the pregnancy or birth is about to kill the woman.

[...] The men in charge aren't entirely without compassion. South Dakota Sen. Bill Napoli says he'd consider letting a girl have an abortion if she was brutally raped, a virgin, religious and planned on saving herself for her husband. Women should feel so darn good about having a guy like that to make their decisions!

This is where this gets really good, though. I'm still stunned at this one, months later. And hang onto your hats, cowboys, because there's been much whining and crying and gnashing of teeth from a lot of men lately because they don't like the way we women use the word "misogynist" (oh, but if only you could control our thoughts as well as our bodies!), but in this case, there is absolutely no other word that applies. How else would you describe men who have opted out of saving the lives of countless women because doing so might lead to women having sex -- except with the word misogynist? Male chauvinist pig?

Anyway, back to the Report...

Also - you won't believe how amazing THIS is - if a woman has sex, then the feeling down at the Bush administration is that she deserves cancer! That might sound harsh even to you fellas who want to get back in the saddle, but here's the reasoning.

Researchers have developed a vaccine that prevents cervical cancer. You'd think we'd be dancing in the streets over this one - an actual cancer vaccine that could save thousands of women's lives annually. It works by safeguarding women against a sexually transmitted virus that causes cervical cancer.

Here's the rub. Women should get the shot before they're sexually active. That means it should be part of standard childhood immunizations.

And that won't do. Bush says removing the threat of cervical cancer would make women promiscuous. Abstinence only, girls! If you get cancer from sex, you're just a slut anyway.

Rest assured, Beth does give a nod to the true women-lovers in our midst (uh, that would not include Joe), and I'd like to add my shoutout to all the good men out there who do manage to love and respect us all at the same time...

Now, I realize not all men are with the program here. There are millions of men who actually feel confident that women's freedom doesn't erode their own strength and sexuality and humanity.

To those men, I say this: We like you the best. You've got a much better chance of getting la "uh, some intimacy" than the troglodytes in your midst.